I came to Qingdao, China with the goal to become fluent in Mandarin and learn about Chinese people and culture. What I realized when I arrived was that I could just as easily live a very comfortable Western life, better than in my own country, the United States without learning Chinese at all or at least very little. While Qingdao is a city with relatively few Chinese people who can speak fluent English, which is why I chose this city in the first place,  it does have a small, but impressive expat community unlike that of 'Foreign Central' --Beijing or Shanghai.  It is easy to get caught in the comfort zone of hanging out with foreigners like yourself.  At the same time, I realized I did not want this; I came to China to leave my comfort zone, to explore new horizons, and this complex but beautiful culture.  After all, the greatest part about being abroad, is this opportunity to just immerse yourself in this culture, these people and most importantly, the key to understanding the previous two, the language.  I quickly realized I was not going to accomplish my goals to learn the language and about the culture, if I lived with foreigners and frequented the expat bars all the time.

I learned a long time ago from my wise mother that the only way to learn a language and about a culture is to immerse yourself in it which means living with Chinese people, eating Chinese food, and “doing like the Romans (in this Chinese) do”.  In other words, the only way I was going to learn this language was to participate in a Qingdao homestay program.  Because I had a great experience with my homestay family in Spain, I was extremely open and excited about the idea of doing the same in China.  I also learned earlier my mother’s wise words: I had studied Spanish for 8 years but only achieved fluency when I lived with a Spanish family for 5 months!

I knew what conditions I needed to learn Mandarin and be happy in a homestay.  I wanted to live with a Chinese family that was friendly, kind, educated, open to meeting new people, spoke good “putonghua” or Mandarin, had a place where I could have my own room, cooked delicious Chinese food and would allow me all the freedoms of living independently.  This is the best thing I have done thus far in Qingdao. I pay a cheap price for room, board, and delicious food in a great location, the downtown center of Qingdao and I could not be happier.  Most of my friends pay the same price or more to just live in an apartment that is sometimes not very nice, in a "nowhere location" and they don’t get to eat scrumptious Chinese delights everyday or have a good friendship with a family.  My Chinese family has helped me a great deal; when I have a problem I consult them.  They have personally taken me bargaining in the marketplace and to the hospital when I became sick.  It is nice because they help me with little things.  For example, if they see I am busy, they will help me do my laundry.  I also get to learn how to cook really delicious Chinese food! and I frequently come home to lounge on the couch drink  green tea and watch TV with them.  It is like having a warm, cute Chinese aunt and uncle, which is very fun. They treat me like part of the family: I celebrated the Chinese New Year with them and have learned a great deal about traditional Chinese culture and food that I would not have learned about, had I not lived there.  My friend, who lives above me with another Chinese family that I jokingly refer to as “cousin” (because our Chinese “aunts” talk to each other all the time), has had a similar experience.  One time, a vendor sold him a shirt that was ripped and would not let him exchange it.  His Chinese family contacted the local consumer bureau which eventually forced them to give back his money or else they would threaten to shut them down.  This of course was after a personal visit by our Chinese “aunt” to the store to scold the vendor for selling him a poor quality shirt (I only wish I could have been there to see this amusing show).  I am very impressed by the extent that our families have gone to help us.

I am a huge fan of the homestay experience.  My advice to anyone who is really serious about learning the language and about the culture is to participate in a homestay for at least three to four months.  It is a great way to learn how to leave your comfort zone, “think out of the box”, try something entirely new, and delve into the people, language and the culture.  If you take the time to really learn the language and about the people, you may be surprised at how it turns your world upside down.  You begin to re-think basic cultural notions you had set in your mind before you came and see things in an entirely different perspective.  In this sense, living in a homestay can be a life-changing experience, if you are open enough to let it.